Thursday, July 17

Giving another "talk"

Today has been a little different. Not because I am have a total of 9 kids in the house, that IS a little different but that isn't quite what I'm talking about when I say different. (The kids are napping if you are wondering how I am blogging right now.)


I have felt for the past couple of weeks that God was inching my heart closer to telling Avery about something I have been DREADING. Last summer (before her 5th grade year), we had THE talk. The one where she was SHOCKED and yelled, "You mean you and daddy have done that 4 times!?" (Cause I told her that is where kids come from) Yeah, THAT talk. S.E.X.

So like I said I really have felt God prodding me to tell Avery about............homosexuality. I know. Touchy, right? It is SO hard for me to talk about. I want to shelter my kids from all worldly things. I'm just like that. I probably shelter them too much, but as a mom that is my right. They are MY kids. I know with Avery going into middle school, she needed to have some true answers about the subject. After telling God no for the last few weeks, I gave in. Believe it or not it was because of Kathy Griffin. The tv was on a commercial for her show and it just hit me like a TON of bricks. (She talks about gay people a lot on her show) Don't ask me how. God spoke to me though. I knew it was time.

I took her to the laundry room and we sat on the ground. I started off talking about last years talk and how God made us to love each other no matter what. Everyone sins, but it is how we handle those sins that make us who we are. Then I began to talk about what it means to be "gay". She thought that it meant happy!! I LOVE that. I told her that it DOES mean that, but now adays when it is said it means that someone is a homosexual. She was a little shocked at what that meant, but I could see it soaking in within the context I had started the conversation.

I started crying talking about someone that we know is gay. I love this person beyond words and so does Avery. I told her that I didn't want to tell her about it until she loved our friend for WHO she is, not WHAT she is. She IS a WONDERFUL, CARING, BEAUTIFUL, GENEROUS, and LOVING friend. I have loved her for SO long, it is impossible to NOT love her. Avery felt that and cried along with me. That moment was VERY special to me. It will be a lifelong memory for me and her as well I imagine.

I am SO proud of how Avery reacted and handled the WHOLE conversation. It really can be an awkward thing to talk about, but she was more ready to hear it than I thought that she would be. She is so much more spiritually mature than I was at that age (11) and I am just proud of the little prayer warrior she has become. She really motivates me to be a better person and Christian. It is fun to look up to your daughter on a spiritual level. Strange, but really enjoyable too. Pretty soon I will be looking up to her in a different way. She is about 5'3". CRAZY!

I told Avery that if she EVER has any questions about it, to ask. She has already told me she has thought of one. I have so many questions MYSELF about it, I pray I have an answer for her.


  • It was fun seeing you on our walk last night. I wish we could have chatted longer! You have the swwetest family, and you are the BEST momma. I hope I can handle these tough talks as well as you as my girls get older.

    By Blogger leslie, at 2:10 PM  

  • I'm a semi-stalker of your blog and just wanted to tell you Bravo for tackling this subject with your daughter. Bless her heart for feeling and understand what is true and right, and for being so loving.

    And you are right on to talk about it with her first and open the door for a conversation before other people - who might not share the same values - get to her first. It seems that the need to talk about this stuff is sooner and sooner in children's lives, but if parents are pro-active and faithful to their values, then there is no need to fear.

    Thanks for posting about this.

    By Blogger Code Yellow Mom, at 3:57 PM  

  • You are SUCH a good mom. =) I'm glad you are going through these "stages" with your kids first....that way you can give me good pointers when mine get that old. It's scary to think that those kinds of talks are necessary at 11 years old...but we live in a different world than we did 20 years ago. Be proud of the relationship you have with Avery, and all of your kids. They are so lucky to have such a wonderful mom!

    As far as having 9 kids in your house. AMAZING.

    By Blogger Anna, at 8:24 PM  

  • wow, what a strong reminder of how important it is to teach the truth in love. i am tucking away your example for this and i pray i have the strength and words to teach miss adelaide these lessons when the time comes. thanks for sharing.
    ps- i CANNOT believe that miss avery is about to be in middle school. it doesn't seem long ago that i was student teaching and she was in kindergarten. she has always been such a sweetheart.

    By Blogger annalee, at 10:49 PM  

  • You are doing great, Mom...I pray for the same wisdom and courage when those conversations arise at our house.
    Love you! Reese

    By Blogger Procters, at 11:37 PM  

  • WOW!! I have been stalking your blog and I am amazed!! I dread some of these did an awesome job!! WAY TO GO!!

    By Blogger C and C Mommy, at 9:13 AM  

  • Nicole-email me and I will tell you where we live! You have probably been here!!

    By Blogger C and C Mommy, at 10:13 AM  

  • You are a great mom! Thanks for posting this. I hope I have the same courage you did when my turn comes.

    By Blogger Liam's Mom - Gina, at 1:57 PM  

  • Amazing job! You are such a good momma. Kate is just enough younger than Avery that I'm guessing that just when you tackle a "big" thing with her, it will be close to my turn with Kate. That means, I'm sure I will be asking you lots of advice!!

    I would love to have your email also. Did you get mine that I left in the comments the other day?

    Thanks for this post on such a tough issue. It is so hard for them to understand this type of sin. We have been tiptoeing around it for a couple of years as we found out that we have a family member that is gay. Thanks for setting an example for me!!

    By Blogger Amy, at 10:18 AM  

  • wow. i'm so not ready to have these talks. it's so much more pleasant to keep my kinds under a rock..ha!

    i'm so glad it went well for you, hon!

    By Blogger Ali, at 12:54 PM  

  • Yep, I had the same reaction when I was in 4th grade, "You mean you and Daddy have done that twice?!?"

    Thanks for sharing this conversation with us... I love to learn from current parents; maybe I'll remember your gems of wisdom when I'm a parent!

    By Blogger katie_marie, at 3:55 PM  

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